21 responses

  1. I think the priest in the video – Father Ben – spoke well and clearly about the fact that cohabiting is a very bad choice. If only priests would speak about this more often and to the young.

    I always wish those about to marry well, but with those who have cohabited, I think they need even more prayers, since the stats show that those who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce.

    • I agree about the priest, and wish others would speak on this topic in their homilies more often.

      I say that because I just do not know anyone who waits for marriage any more. I see Catholics cohabiting as a normal part of the process. It’s incredible.

      As to “why” – they want a big day, the white dress, flowers, photos, cake etc. As far as I can tell, that’s the “why” – although I suppose for Harry and Meghan it will be to legitimise them as a proper couple for legal reasons, not sure. I suppose legal reasons could be a reason for everyone, I don’t really know.

      The cohabiting has led to serial partners and multiple fathers for children, and so we have a very unstable society. This shows in the indiscipline in schools and rising crime, etc. It’s a real tragedy, but it’s difficult to see how things can go back to the way they were – couple dating, getting engaged (while staying with parents), saving up to get married and then settling down after marriage to bring up children. That seems like a dream scenario that has gone forever.

    • Lily,

      You are right about the stats. I’ve been watching some YouTube videos about this, because I have family members who cohabit and it is not easy to convince them out of it. This is one short video that gives some statistics.

  2. Why? Because Catholics are going along with the crowd. They are not teaching about traditional marriage being God’s plan, in the schools. Also, if every Catholic refused to attend weddings after cohabitation, that might help.

    As for the baptism and confirmation of Meghan Markle before the wedding – that’s no different from the Catholics who go to Mass for a few weeks to get married in church or their child baptised. To be honest, I’m surprised that they are bothering about getting her baptised and confirmed!

    • Josephine,

      I can’t see any sense in refusing to attend the wedding of cohabitees. Whatever their motives, they are now putting their situation right by getting married, so why would you refuse to attend the wedding?

      • Nicky,

        At one time, before Vatican II, cohabiting couples would marry in the sacristy with only their witnesses present. It was a matter of shame that they had lived together without being married. That’s why. Society makes it too easy for couples to do their own thing, live in sin, and then have the “big day”. If it was less acceptable in society or at least in the Church, couples might think twice.

      • Nicky

        I can’t see any sense in refusing to attend the wedding of cohabitees. Whatever their motives, they are now putting their situation right by getting married, so why would you refuse to attend the wedding?

        Because she is already married?

        • Therese,

          I wasn’t talking about Meghan Markle. I just meant any cohabiting couple. I was thinking of people I’ve known who cohabited without either of them being married to anyone else. I attended their weddings because I saw it as them trying to put the situation right, no matter what their motives.

          Sorry if I wasn’t clear first time.

  3. I’m a bit lost on this one. As far as I can ascertain, she’s a Protestant (so why the baptism now?), went to a Catholic school, had a Jewish first wedding after about 6 years of co-habitation and then got divorced after two years of marriage to someone you would have thought she knew quite well by the time she married him. Now after knowing Harry for only ?one year she’s becoming C of E to marry him.

    As far your question goes, I’ve often wondered why after a long time (and often children) people suddenly decide to get married – often to someone completely different. Could I suggest it may be just total confusion due to living too long by the rules and norms of modern society so that no-one knows what they really want any more, and even if they think they do know (a false sense of independence tells many of us what we think we want or would like), they often go along with peer pressure, society pressure, fashion pressure ……etc etc. Then there’s always sentiment and sentimentality. I don’t think many people really know what marriage is for anyway anymore – and if there is no religious reason and it’s not a financial contract or a marriage of convenience, and is no longer ‘expected’ by society, I’m not sure what other reasons there could be. Well, at least you can throw a big party!

    My query about why baptism is necessary is not rhetorical – can one actually be a Protestant without being baptized by some ‘church’?

    • Heloisa,

      I think people who belong to a particular church like the Baptists or Presbyterians, do get baptised but some probably just loosely call themselves Protestants to show they’re not Catholics! Meghan went to a Catholic school, according to the news reports, so I am guessing they just want to make clear she is not a Catholic because Prince Harry would not be permitted to marry unless she apostatised as Autumn Kelly did when she married Peter Phillips – quote:

      “Among the 300 guests at the 55-minute ceremony were 70 friends and family of Miss Kelly who travelled from Canada. From now on, the bride, who converted from Catholicism to marry into the Royal family, will be known as “Mrs Autumn Phillips”. ”

      • Fidelis, I suspect you’re right about some vaguely Christian people just calling themselves Protestant so no-one thinks they are Catholic! You’ve told me something I didn’t know, though, that Peter Phillips’ wife ‘changed’ religion although once a Catholic…..always a Catholic. Not that I’d know as I don’t follow royal goings-on much (although a Monarchist!) but I wonder how many places away from the throne one needs to be before you can marry a Catholic and not lose one’s position in the line? Eleventh seems to be a bit harsh. It’s difficult to imagine the first 10 all popping their clogs at the same time!

        • Heloisa,

          The whole thing is ridiculous. Peter Philips isn’t even royal and has no chance of ever sitting on the throne. Harry too has no chance, but even if he did, people shouldn’t be forced to change religion. Conversion must be through conviction and not for love. The Dutch Royal Family have the right idea, nobody has to change religion when they marry into them, in fact, there is no law stating that they must belong to any particular Church. At the present time half the Royal Family are Catholic and the King is Protestant and the Queen is Catholic.

        • I take it that you’ve never seen Alec Guinness in Kind Hearts and Coronets. 😉

          On another note, whatever happened to princes marrying princesses? (Think of Madeline Carroll in The Prisoner of Zenda (1937).

    • Heloisa,

      My question is whether she’s a baptized Catholic. It’s not an absolute requirement to be a baptized Catholic to attend Catholic school and I haven’t seen it written anywhere that she’s a baptized Catholic.

      If she is Catholic, then none of her marriages would be recognized as valid in the Church. She would be in a state of perpetual cohabitation. When Christendom was shattered at the Protestant rebellion, the Christian masses have since been gradually moving in this direction of religious indifference, apostasy and greater immorality. Even if she was baptized Catholic, to the vast majority of Catholics and society in general, it’s no big deal to divorce, marry outside of the Church or to cohabit. Live free according to your own conscience as long as you’re not hurting anyone.

      Our Lady of Good Success in speaking over 350 years ago to Mother Mariana de Jesus Torres on the coming immorality of the 20th century, said,

      “As for the Sacrament of Matrimony, which symbolizes the union of Christ with His Church, it will be attacked and profaned in the fullest sense of the word. Masonry, which will then be in power, will enact iniquitous laws with the objective of doing away with this Sacrament, making it easy for everyone to live in sin, encouraging the procreation of illegitimate children born without the blessing of the Church. The Christian spirit will rapidly decay, extinguishing the precious light of Faith until if reaches the point that there will be an almost total and general corruption of customs…”

      I agree, we are living in a time of total confusion.

      • I thought at first that she was a Catholic (but probably just read something in passing about her education and assumed – wrongly it would appear. Like yourself, I haven’t seen anything else so I managed to find the article again and yes, I’d read it too quickly.

        Yes, confusion reigns – haha! I got confused going from Traditional child to NO in formative years. However, I used to look at my peers and my siblings’ slightly older peers in my 20s and think how can they be on their 3rd marriage by their early 30s when I haven’t even got anywhere near a first! Leaving aside for a moment the spiritual aspect – how do they find the time along with careers etc?!!

  4. I don’t think young people will stop cohabiting now, even if priests do preach about it – that horse has bolted.

    It doesn’t help either when celebs and royalty are cohabiting – that only reinforces the idea that it’s okay to live with someone without marriage.

    One thing that puzzles me is why we are not hearing about increased rates of sexually transmitted diseases, as a result of all the partners on the merry-go-round. There has to be an increase, IMHO, yet we are not given any statistics. I find that odd.

    • Allan,

      It does not matter if “that horse has bolted” – priests should still be preaching that it is a grave sin to engage sex before marriage and worse, to live in that sinful state.

    • You are correct and I think it is kept hidden – or more accurately perhaps – not broadcast openly too much. However, you only have to look at the rates of chlamydia infection (particularly in the young/teenagers) in the UK to work out the rest of the story. From NHS choices site “In 2013, more than 200,000 people tested positive for chlamydia in England. Almost 7 in every 10 people diagnosed with the condition were under 25 years old.” That figure doesn’t include all those who according to the NHS don’t even know they have it. Stands to reason a lot of them also have other STDs.

  5. Cost may be a contributing factor. The average cost of a wedding in the UK is £33,884, while couples from the Midlands proved the most frugal, only spending £25,915 on average on their wedding.

    Editor: nonsense. In Scotland weddings are advertised from “as little” as £1,000. Depends on what one wants. We definitely don’t want a “frugal” wedding, under any circs…

    Me, I’m a simple gal – the one grand do will suit me fine, if you’re asking/proposing… 😀